beeep

AKO'y NAHUHUMALING SA... tababs@yahoo.com

miss u

I NEED YOU HOUIE!

I LOVE YOU!

I want to be with you!!!!

the price I have to pay

so i got my three signs to stay here: dad, gym, test results.

i think the world had been telling me to stay but i kept on brushing it off and fighting it. now i surrender to the voices that told me to stay.

and i realized a few things for myself: 1.)i really don't want to be a doctor--cuz i dont wanna work til i'm old, i don't want to be an employee forever, or a slave of my career. 2.)it seems like the voices are telling that I don't like healthcare either. however its a gud source of money, but i gotta work hard for it, risk my life and the life of others. ha! but i'll wait in see for more signs and voices that will really tell me, healthcare is not for me.

well my decision: is to stay here, well at least for another 3-5 years.


but with that decision, i have to sacrifice me, my emotional health, and of course, you.

I know, even love gets tired, impatient, quit. Even with the voices and signs that tell me to let go, i won't. cuz i'll fight for you til u tell me to stop. i'll fight for me and you. i'll fight, for me to be happy--and that's with you.

It's unfair, to scarifice us for my selfish reasons of staying.

No one understands that we're a couple. No one understands that with me staying, it affects me and you and our relationship together. i'm full of anger, despise, and pain, but i know even if my hopes were only wishes, i still hope u'll be able to come here and be with me.

i love you.

i love you still.

i'm hopeful, yet shattered in pieces...

immigration

HOPE...
HOPING....
WISHING....
DREAMING....



i want ehr to be with. I want to be with her. YET here I am, got no way for her to be with me. pnu kaya to! di naman sya pde basta makapunta dito.

WHAT? as tourist? then what she has to go back... we dont have that much money.
RelativeS? niya? wala.

WORK? hay... goodluck. di naman sa pagiging negative, but panu? we need help, we cant do this on our own.

MARRIAGE? hay... lst resort. but its hard, the risks lalo na if we dont really know the person.

I don't know. its just that immigration rules sucks!
All iwanted is to be with her. She's the one for me, found her, but can't get her!
PHAKSHET!

i need help. will u help us? cuz i really want to be with her, and she wanted to be with me too.
ME? i can't be at two places at the same time. WIsH i cud.

lesbian TV!

AKO'y Umiinom NG... soda! (diet mt dew code red)

well i've been detoxifying for what 2months now? which turned out really well.
Now that I am certain that I will not be ADDICTED to SODA again... now that I know I CAN CONTROL MY DRINKING SODA HABITS... i will maybe drink on occasion.
and today is the first day...
BUT I PROMISE NOT TO DO What i havebeen doing before: drinking 5-8cans per day.


SO SODA ISNT A BIG DEAL NO MORE. i have learned how to control that.
i can't even finish 1 can now! it burns in my throat! haha
________________________

i have been watching SOUTH OF NOWHERE and EXs and OHs. (Of course I also have the complete 4 seasons of L WORD).
pero I LOVE SOUTH OF NOWHERE [son] next to L WORD.
well L word is like THE pioneer! its like the first lesbian show that really showed lesbian couples doing lesbian stuffs + normal human stuffs. Plus I love the characters too.
but SOUTH OF NOWHERE IS A DIFFERENT STORY...
di ko alam y, kinikilig ako! I mean yeah kinikilig ako sa L WORD! but with SON i really feel that it's true. i have not been into a whole damn lesbian community na all females u see are lesbians (like L WORD and EX's and Oh's). its not that simple! the flirting, etc.

so in short, i can relate to SON more. just like how ashley and spencer met. became close friends muna after spencer moved, soon naging sila na.... basta astig!

if i have time... maybe i should get me a copy of all the episodes of sON! donchathink?
hmmm and how about SUGAR RUSH? eh... i like it din... heheh basta i liek them all... least i like is ex's and oh's -- mejo corny eh!

uie! wish u can watch all these with me!