Friday, May 11, 2007

it isn't fair

I wanna scream. Its building up inside. I need to let go, let go of this ill-feelings. I hate it. It's not fair. NO! YOU ARE NOT FAIR! Why?

Is it me? or is it you? I hate it, don't want to rationalize anymore. Its your fault. No, its mine. IT IS YOUR FAULT! YOU ARE SELFISH! No, I AM.

Don't give me that crap. It's so lame. PATHETIC. Who's pathetic? ME? or you? I think I AM. I AM MAD. THE TENSION IS Building up inside. I need to be alone. MY temp is rising. Soon I WILL EXPLODE, and I don't want anybody near me. I might regret. I don't wanna regret.

YOu fucked up. YOU are fucked up. NO, it's me. Why am I like this. Fuck you lei!

THINK but do not rationalize, it will only suppress the anger. FEEL but ignore it, or it will build up faster than ever. WRITE. SHOUT. PUNCH THAT WALL. GOOD> RELEASE IT THAT WAY. HATE. NO YOU CAN't. AND YOU SHOULDN't.

TRY HARDER. It's not working. It's you. It is not me. It is you. GRow UP. I told you it is not me. Don't you ever blame me. Don't you ever use that same strategy again. This time it will not work. IT will NOT work. I am ruthless. No hate no anger no forgiveness.

Don't you dare say that. You have no right. Do it. Show it. Do not just say it. I will not try to understand you. I will not rationalize. I will feel this emotion you've caused me. This time I will let it creep inside me. I will explode, it is a risk. YOUr risk. YOU SHOULD FEEL IT.